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Tuesday, December 12, 2006

withering sunshine

last night i read in the dorm till 0:13 am.dog around bited
furiously.i lost sleep all the night.i had pills and urined as
usual,but just after i settled on bed i had need to urine.i guessed
that's not real and i thought i'd better endured it for my baby.so i
sleeplessly.in late night the neighbor hooligans still made cracks
with their chair or something,likely stayed there sleeplessly.in the
process i saw the plot of dog to weave a web to trap me into the
asylum and there they took full control of my life,from eating to
sleeping to medicine to communication,in which they can plot and
execute evil onto me without obvious obstacles.their aim was to
whitewashed my mind and my name from the world.but they just unable to
do as they liked.i got up at 7:13 am and went to see my baby at
once.my baby vomitted in the mid night and let his mother restlessly
these days.when i arrived he was held by the kid sister feeding while
watching tv.my baby was motionless to me.so i went to the room
wondering if i can do some works first on pc.but my baby asked for my
caress and let the kid sister at a loss.the full day my baby didn't
leave my caress.he just loathed to walk or play with his own.he
shitted 4 times with watery shits.he suffering.his mother let us not
to receive her at noon.so we stayed at home in the morning.at noon the
kid sister of his mother arrived.i disliked her for her behavior since
i engaged with her elder sister.she seldom ate at home while her
financial position was shabby.i mean,she likely frequently accompany
some rich men to eat outside,at least those can afford her a treat.her
last visit,dated the day before yesterday,brought some grapes with
which i tasted some and likely so did my baby.and i shitted waterily
last night,too.in my view she just too wicked,like her mother's
family.the afternoon she slept in the quilt in the room for my baby
and now occupied by the kid sister of my baby's mother's
mother,watching movies on her elder sister's notebook.later the kid
sister of her mother also slept on the same bed.i had to admit she was
not nobody,she let me felt in the hell for unconfortable and sleepy.my
baby played with tapwater and cooking utensil and grid frame of window
and torch,but he also finally felt boring and slept.i slept aside my
baby.my baby woked up 2 times with cries.after finally got up i still
felt faint and lack of energy.my baby also loathed to play on his
own.after 5 pm the kid sister left.after another an hour i held my
baby to receive his mother,against her warn.my baby directed me
visited a grocer shop along the road where we haunted a lot in summer
but seldom recently.we chatted with the boss couples.my baby asked me
to buy him a little bag of dry beef and we entered the school for a
lot of persons likely students' parents entered by their bikes.a cop
card ported outside the door,it my second time seeing it ported
there.my baby got energetic and talkative in his mother's arms.it
really let me happier.
dog likely weaving its web to trap me into prison or asylum,same place
to let me disappear.i had not worry or hindersight.my sleep can be
ruined without routine pill which now in my open drawer in the dorm
free to replace,but i had long time waited for god not to let me live
with it and its in fact the cause of my second falling into asylum for
not taking pills for i think its unnature.maybe i lived with less time
to sleep,like Nash,the famous physisist survived mental disease
without taking pills.
tonight,no matter how distorted by the unnamed unease,or just can't
sleep,i live in god's sight and ready for god's call.that's
bye.i love u.kiss u with bear.i hope i deserve a snow tonight.kiss u
with baring.
a old shot uploaded

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