bright afternoon on weekend

its a bright afternoon. baby recently got a cold and pumph and a doctor even warn irregular sound in his heart. yesterday i was melt in sorrow and mercy. but today he still so naughty and sound. he recently frequently demands cares with cries, which quite annoying,including his mother upset with his cries. i enjoyed the cyberspace presence very much. but after got wired the office pc, i sometimes on the contrast lose right mood to busy with the internet, instead, felt boring into doze and tears, resulting frequent doze in the morning.however, when i was full of energy, i enjoyed the web as usual and always be agile on posting and comment on web.

this afternoon was too bright to miss. ema busy with tutoring and earning all day while i dozed all the morning and sat in front of pc all afternoon. so ema suggested bringing baby outside before dusk. i didn't went outside with baby since i was sent to my hometown for ailment in the same month of last year. we visited the place around our home, the southern sports yard and south park. the scenery was the same except some folks refused to nod me for my illness. its almost half and a year after my brought my baby haunting the places in jungle of losing thoughts in the turbulent moment before i felt into asylum at my hometown in Hubei Prov. central China.

i love the game of being mad, and being recovered. i see God's call in it. i love my baby and my peaceful life so far. no matter what a thunder ahead, i see and under God's shine.

baby son on ride of his 3 years on earth

bright day, turning windy and pale sunshine after noon.

i still dozed a lot in office in the morning. last night ema told me she brought baby visited doctor, and was told likely baby's heart has some problem. my direct response was it can't be and i blamed her too fussy about baby's health. she retorted its none of my business. then i launched to operate on pc and my broking heart love for my baby, esp. in the view of cherished his countable time on earth let me sorry. i visited him who playing with his mother and felt we couples love him the same. then i doubting if we should not treating baby liking he was short of something comparing with other kids in the world. and i felt enough of ema's over-protect baby, just to show her tendering. i love baby strong and independent, cute and robust. i don't like to see his demanding other's companion, esp. his mother. but ema glad to drive him to ask for her cares. cares to his every cough with fussy padding, and every changes of body temperature with all kinds of medicines. too much fussy just to show her fragile cares. i would like to see baby silent and independent, enduring and sound.
this noon i returned home and found the grandma didn't cook as usual. i waited awhile then buzzed ema. she was with baby in another hospital, likely brought baby into medical check. i then left to office. on the way she buzzed but i can't listen clearly what she intends to do. after lunch in a nearby restaurant of the dorm i returned to office and buzzed her again and this time she had left baby in the kindergarten and returning to her working school. later when i writing this she buzzed me again and discuss the situation we faced.
i never believed my baby has any physical problem. he was just so perfect, so shiny under God's glow. if any problem calling him, that's from God's. God, let me take ur way and show me the peace of life of my family. i endured and took vow of loving the world u builds.

benzillar's blogroll 04/10/2008

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Real warm early spring

these days here always sunshine, sometimes weaker and windier, sometimes enviable bright sun light. this noon on the way home i recognized its now real early spring, for which i had longing for long time in the coldest winter. i love sunshine, most favorable season is summer. spring in my hometown can be very beautiful, warm and clear and floral and fragrant.bees started to busy and ducks begin to dabble water. in the longest tunnel i will find the sunshine of my hometwon of south China i depared for so many years. i had the dream and kept it in my deepese secret.
as to my life now, i still enjoyed the web so far. i m glad to see google reopen its wiki service, from previous acclaimed jotspot.com ,and eager to find an account. but without my own domain i can't now make use of it, which belong to google's apps suite. but i can look forward to its integrate into googlepages, with which i occupied some namespace. i also wondering if i should apply myself a internation domain. for i hate Chinese surveillance i want to register my domain via American's domain provider. the road blocker was payment, on which google's checkout asked owning a visa or master card, to which i only heard, never know more details. i like name, or domain, or namespace. god know his creations. i had paid lots of cautions to align my cyperspace footprints. i managed them like a brand. i earned less money, but that doesn't prevent my managing my brand in virtual like a business. i know i m abled and continued to be abled, in my full development, under God's shine and glory.
my baby enjoyed martial games very much. i also want to try some. i love the immersing experience when gaming. but my problem was i love even more free stuff available on the web, like p2p or ftp stuff. they r really handy and valueable. my pc was always busy downloading, and ema's notebook previously can let us play on it. but now the notebook had some problem to power on, likely biso battery ran out of power. ema got angery and claimed not to bring it back from her school. i really need a new pc to work on while the downloading should moved to a lightweight equippment with less intelligence.
my pc was under frequent hack, likely from China watch dog, reboot irregularly many time. i just too alert to enjoy the online redio or podcast, which in most cases and frequent causes led to reset.China dog really exerts its terrorism on me. otherwise, how i enjoyed listening podcast online.
its a nice afternoon. i finished reading most feeds i subscribed. i recently caught up with old feeds awaiting to be read and my life and work balanced better. i don't knwo what's my job or career, but i sure reading and thinking, no more sensible.

baby visit his mother's hometown with his mother&grandma